Today, I embark on writing. Tears in my eyes and pain inside my heart. So painful that I could hardly sleep thinking about the peak critical issue in our society. Why? Why him? Why her? Is it not a great shame?

The rise in sexual assaults is so alarming and traumatizing across countries and cultures. Rising from day to day, victims after victims innocently defiled ranging from tender ages of weeks old to older ages. It’s a communal crisis indeed and must be prioritised in order to eradicate the social evil. Sadly, these cases are least reported.

What is rape exactly?

This is the crime of using force or the threat of force to compel a person to submit to sexual intercourse.

Types of sexual violence

1. Payback rape
2. Deception rape
3. Campus rape
4. Serial rape
5. Gang rape
6. Marital rape
7. Children rape and others

Embarking on infant rape, this has really been of great concern as the numbers keep on multiplying day in, day out. According to Kenya Demographic and Health survey 2014, 47% women and children experience sexual abuse.

With research done by Daily Nation team, rape rate cases in Kenya are as follows:
• Kilifi; 97% rape cases
• Kisii ;85.7% with 57.1% cases of defilement
• Machakos; 71.4% with a 58.3% cases of defilement
• Mombasa; 66.7% recoding the highest rate of defilement cases at 60%
• Nairobi ;64.9% with 24.5% cases of defilement
• Nyeri; recording 17.5% of rape cases

According to America Medical Association, they reported that about 60% rape cases occur but only 16% are reported and that nearly 80,000 American children are abused each year. A similar predicament is also seen in Kenya. These rape cases are never reported or hardly reported. And for every 100 rape cases, maybe only 20 or less are reported and less than 5 victims get justice as the perpetrators are sent behind bars.

Some few days back, while we were on a stroll with my colleague, she said ‘I just received a call some few minutes back. It is about a rape case of a 12-year-old girl. The incident was done by the maternal uncle and the mother is forcing the daughter to give it a cold shoulder. She claims that, if they are to report the case to the authorities, it will be a great disgrace for the family.’

Questions were ringing in my head. But why? Why not take her daughter’s side? Why not support her on such a critical situation? Why decide to cover up for the offender? Does she not deserve justice?

This was actually not the first case I had come across. Since the start of 2020, I probably can say that its more than 10 cases that I.heard of. 90% of them being defilement of infants aged two-weeks old! For God’s sake, surely, how was she/he at fault? How did he/she even draw your attention? Worse of it all, this young angel hardly survives and his/her life ends before it even starts. Highest level of cruelty! Molesting an infant to death? To cover up for this,they end up dumping the victims in garbage pits, wells, toilets and even go to an extent of butchering them. Do they really deserve it? Its the highest level of lacking humanity! How do the perpetrators find a good night sleep after doing this? Don’t these souls of these poor angels haunt them? Don’t they feel any guilt taking over their souls?

One of the cases was that of a boy child being molested by his nanny since his tender age. This resulted to the boy’s addiction in doing the act and this turning to be part and parcel of his lifestyle. When the parents noticed this, they decided to take their son to a counsellor. After some sessions, the boy opened up and shared his calamity. He said: ‘This was Nanny’s x norm, she used to put me in between her legs, kept on touching, kissing and caressing me. Earlier, I never knew what this meant. As I grew up and got exposed to education, I had a clue of what was really happening between nanny x and I. This habit was into my system and I found it exiting. She always used to call me to her room or at times come into my room.’
He had to undergo therapies after therapies to get him back to track and open his eyes that whatever that had been happening to him was not right.

What reasons can these perpetrators give to support their acts?

Misconceptions about molesting infants
‘The myth that by doing so, it cures HIV/AIDS and all that chronic sexual diseases
 Narcissism; selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, as characterizing a personality type
 Possessions of Jinn; That one was not in their senses claiming that someone might have bewitched them into doing such a horrible act.
 Drug influence; Some claim that, due to consumption of alcohol, bhang and other drug substances, they were not in their correct state of mind.

These rape cases affect not only girls but boys too and research has shown that 2/3 of these rape cases are committed by family members or people who had a relationship with the victim. As opposed to the claim that these cases are done by complete strangers.

These rape cases can be caused between;

1. Female victims and male perpetrators
2. Female victims and female perpetrators
3. Male victims and male perpetrators
4. Male victims and female perpetrators

Some claim that, a rape case victim especially for the women, lure the men to get into such an extent. But, this does not mean that regardless of how one wears, it’s a call to be molested. I believe that no one wishes or asks to be raped.
For the boys, others have false claims that they are less affected by sex and they are able to defend themselves. Truth be told, these boys are victims too and justice must be served. They are the ones who suffer most. Unlike girls who will open up, this boy victim will hardly share his suffering due to the society’s view, “Mwanamume ni simba” meaning “a man is a lion” so he was potray courage at all times.

Why are these rape case not reported?

The reasons could be:

1.The fear that no one will believe your view of the story
2.The fear that the attackers might decide to get back to you when you expose them
3.That by reporting the perpetrator to the authorities, ends up to be a police case causing shame upon one’s family
4.Pressure from others that such incidents are not to be publicized
Protecting the culprit
5.Fearing that there could be no enough evidence to support your accusation against the perpetrator 6.The fear that no one will believe your view of the story
7.The fear that the attackers might decide to get back to you when you expose them
8.That by reporting the perpetrator to the authorities, ends up to be a police case causing shame upon one’s family
9.Pressure from others that such incidents are not to be publicized
10.Protecting the culprit
11.Fearing that there could be no enough evidence to support your accusation against the perpetrator

Outcomes of Sexual abuse

 Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD); Sever anxiety and stress that come up especially when recalling the traumatic experience that one went through
 Depression; the feelings of severe despondency and dejection
 Flashbacks; experiences or seeing and getting clear pictures of the fateful event that conspired on someone
 Anger; For women, its most likely that they might develop towards the men due to that fault of the single person who took advantage of her and may end up refusing to get married. Same issue applying to the boy child developing hatred towards women. A case of lesbianism and gaysm might arise at this point. This could have been resulted as a fact that this person had a very bad experience with the member of the opposite sex.
 Sleep disorder: Having a rest or sleeping becomes troublesome to this individual. Flashbacks keep on re-aligning themselves freshly in his thoughts
 Eating disorders- One’s appetite is lost. The incident keeps on coming back to their minds. This makes one lose interest in eating.
 Distrust of others; Losing confidence in sharing anything with a second party and prefer being individualistic. This is with the fear that these same people that you trust might end up repeating the fateful act on you.
 Low esteem; loss of confidence in one’s self completely because they believe that their perpetrators played a great part is robbing them their confidence. They end up belittling themselves
 Diseases; Contraction with Sexually Transmitted Diseases and HIV/AIDS
 Distortion of walking and sitting posture of the victim. Severe back pain and abdominal pain.
 Suicide; In situations where the victim feels that this tragedy is too heavy for them to lift in their chests, they end up ending their lives to evade questions and criticisms arising from the society

Treatment for the Rape victims

To help them recover from the trauma, therapy is a way in which this victim can learn to accept themselves even after the tragic incident that has faced them.
a) Stress Inoculation Therapy
This is treating those with elevated fear and anxiety. The fear that the attacker might pop up any moments and abuse them. It has 3 phases:
• Education – explaining to the victim that fear is a normal response to trauma. It also teaches about cues that may trigger fear (such as places that remind the victim of the rape).
• Skill building – rape victims are taught to control their fear reactions physically and psychologically. This includes cognitive behavioral techniques like thought stopping, mental rehearsal and guided self-talk.
• Application – victims now use their new skills to engage in fearful behavior. They are also taught to avoid self-criticism and manage avoidance behavior as well as reward themselves for their progress.

b) Prolonged Exposure Therapy
It is a way of desensitizing a person to the trauma of rape through repeated exposures to memories of the traumatic event. This aims to help out the victims who are undergoing depression and lift them off the guilt associated with the trauma.

c) Cognitive Processing Therapy
Cognitive processing therapy is a manualized therapy used by clinicians to help people recover from posttraumatic stress disorder and related conditions. In this therapy, education, exposure, and cognitive techniques are used. Victims are encouraged to identify parts of the trauma with “inadequately processed emotions” associated with them, known as “stuck points.” This has really help out clear depression and other feelings associated with the rape incident.

d) Supportive Counselling rape therapy
The therapist provides unconditional positive regard, active listening, and general support. This is by understanding the victim without judging them.

For such incidents when they transpire, let us keep in our minds that this is a sad, tragic and painful moment for the victims. As the society, let us not trying finding faults in the them, that they did this and that and that’s why they had to face the music. Instead, lets extend our helping hand to them. The fact is that, this girl, boy, lady or man has undergone so much already and is not in a positon to handle any more assaults.

Secondly, let us be very careful in whose hands we live our children to when we are away. Make it a habit to talk to your kids about their experiences in school, at home, with their friends etc. Let us not try to ignore what they say. Give them attention. Let them air out their stories and take key note whenever you notice any crucial change taking place in our kids. Do not wait till that time when one will be left crying over spilled milk.

Creating awareness of such cases is very important. Standing against Gender Based Violence and helping out the rape victims get justice should be our core concern.

Let us all stand united and say NO TO SEXUAL ABUSE.

REFERENCES
Gluck, S. (2012, July 28). Effects of Rape: Psychological and Physical Effects of Rape, Healthy Place. Retrieved on 2020, February 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/rape/effects-of-rape-psychological-and-physical-effects-of-rape
Tracy, N. (2012, July 28). Rape Therapy: A Treatment for Rape Victims, Healthy Place. Retrieved on 2020, February 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/rape/rape-therapy-a-treatment-for-rape-victims
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_myth
https://www.nation.co.ke/news/Kilifi-leads-in-Kenya-incidence-of-rape/1056-5369726-28pfhfz/index.html
https://www.trendrr.net/13049/countries-with-highest-rape-crime-famous-global-statistics/